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The Imperfect Present

The Man in the Woman in the Mirror by Raya Finkle (Oregon, 21)

10/18/2023

 
My body forgives me
for everything
for dancing backwards in the mirror
like my hips have hinges
love it to death
and now I am scared

The curves of my nonexistent hips
and no waist
say
I am a man
help me

treat him kindly
let him lean into me instead of pushing him away
​
​Please treat him with kindness
for me
let me hold him from afar because
I'm in such pain as well
I can feel it too
I have been telling myself
I can squeeze into any box they shove me into
            let me out, now
I have to do this perfectly

The tears aren't real
tracks of air
sculpted by old innervated memories
stuck like lichen to my brain
​
They stick to my hands when I wipe my eyes
I just want
to love someone like him again
I will always love him
though I love him from afar, outside my body, never in





Raya Finkle is a 21 year nonbinary writer and health student, currently residing in Corvallis, Oregon. They use writing as a form of healing.

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