The Man in the Woman in the Mirror by Raya Finkle (Oregon, 21)

My body forgives me
for everything
for dancing backwards in the mirror
like my hips have hinges
love it to death
and now I am scared

The curves of my nonexistent hips
and no waist
say
I am a man
help me
treat him kindly
let him lean into me instead of pushing him away

​Please treat him with kindness
for me
let me hold him from afar because
I'm in such pain as well
I can feel it too
I have been telling myself
I can squeeze into any box they shove me into
            let me out, now
I have to do this perfectly

The tears aren't real
tracks of air
sculpted by old innervated memories
stuck like lichen to my brain
​
They stick to my hands when I wipe my eyes
I just want
to love someone like him again
I will always love him
though I love him from afar, outside my body, never in





Raya Finkle is a 21 year nonbinary writer and health student, currently residing in Corvallis, Oregon. They use writing as a form of healing.