My Aunt Got Married in 2014 by Sailor McCoy (Kentucky, 17)

trigger warning: homophobia
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and then, it was my second time hearing     “the l slur”

my father was born from a barber shop to the left
   of my grandmother’s laundromat. he grew up 
        and grew back and married the hair comb his father and his father’s father wielded,
​     everyday, my 
           nana to be drove him up their holler in an old brown buick 
                —always late, always to pick up my mother.
                   scolding  him for his tardy slip, my nana to be wore
                      a cross around her neck: held it, prayed to jesus every morning,
                         lunch, and night. she told me once that she wasn’t irish, she wasn’t catholic. 
                              23 and Me reports she was wrong. 25% ireland, 75% bible belt, I wonder: are 
                                  You what you grow from? my first
                                      daycare was a sunday school. then i was grape juice and crackers. my 
                                      father dreamt of walking in that church, in my wedding.

                                        my mother dreamt of moving to the city, which we did. 2011.
                               what i can remember from then: driving 2 hours for thanksgiving.
                          i missed nana’s bologna sandwiches. i learned how to ride a bike. 
                      people in the city didn’t have fun stories like my uncle gary with the stories
                 i was baptized at 12 outside in a pool, late fall, 53 degrees. one time, i put poison ivy 
              in your dad’s shoes. once, i decided to become a country singer, it didn’t go far.
          then, for a while, i was the best storyteller in the city. what i remember next: 
       my aunt got married in 2014
  and then, it was my second time hearing        that word
in my head, i unshortened the suffix.     lesbian.           the second time
   i tangled curiosity with silence
       at that word, it sat on tongues for days, dragging out like                        warning
           my nana threw it out like                                                                       fuck you
                for stealing her appetite
                  —hurried and hushed, muted when my aunt arrived: brought baked mac and cheese
                      and a wife and a son and sometimes a dog.
                        they ate from the same table, left me to wonder:
                           are we what we grew from?
                              then i was turkey and dinner rolls. now i am
                               baked mac and cheese.


                          what i remember: wondering how quick someone can become hate

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Sailor McCoy is a teen poet whose work discusses queer and feminist issues. Though she was born and raised in Louisville, KY, she spent a lot of time with her family members in rural Appalachia, this history heavily influences the tone and messages in her poems. Sailor began writing poems in fifth grade but got more heavily involved with writing in her Senior Creative Writing class.