It is March Again by Afra Ahmad (Taiwan)

It is March again 
with drowsy Dahlias on my terrace swaying
to the tune of the gentle zephyr

As I hide my face under my thick blanket
I realize that the piercing winter is departing 
with wistful eyes that are moist with tears
ruminating on what you put me through years ago

This act of being a champion in forgiving and forgetting 
is slowly becoming difficult to continue
how long can one hide? there is a limit to everything

How can I conceal what is inside my heart: a fusion of brokenness and light
this light has been suppressed for so long that it has started doubting its potency
how can I hide that which has made my countenance perpetually grim?

My mother brings some butter croissants 
with a large jar of Nutella
for she believes these little goodies make me happy;
they do help me put my feet on the ground

What have you done to me? I have started spreading chocolate on everything
as if to tell the world I have moved on
how can a man who has embraced bitterness 
as his best friend
love anything sweet?
how has this repugnance changed into an addiction?

As I lick the chocolate again, my mother tells me:
heal and move on
How can I move on, mother?
how can I forget the words that made my heart scream
until the voice inside it turned raspy
when all it wanted was to smile
how can I forget how my seemingly colourful childhood wasn't colourful at all?

Now
I do not remember anything about smiling except that 
it had something to do with the movement of my lips and cheeks
how can I forget how a junior, seemingly powerless 
had the power to ruin my personality?

I am twenty-two years old with a skull resembling scalding tea
do not touch me, you will only burn yourself.




Afra Ahmad is a writer, poet, artist and calligrapher. Based in Taiwan, she holds a Bachelor's degree in English Literature. She writes about everything under the sun: from dark issues of the society to problems faced by teenagers to imparting chunks of wisdom through her poems, stories and write-ups. Her works have appeared in various magazines including Iman collective, MYM, Rather Quiet, Ice Floe Press, Olney Magazine, The Malu Zine, The Sophon Lit, Blue Minaret, Melbourne Culture Corner, Her Hearth Magazine, The Hot Pot Magazine, Ghudsavar magazine, Moonbow Magazine, Eunoia Review, Alternate Route, Ink In Thirds, Zhagaram Literary Magazine, A thin slice of anxiety, Rewrite the stars, Porch Lit, Broken Spine Collective.