40 Dollars I’ll Never Spend by Diana Yafizova (Florida, 21)

An experience you wanted for 6 months-
Well, it was only worth 40 dollars
Not 50 or hundred
Just a crumpled up 20 and some 5s
Surely my body is worth more than that

But maybe it’s because you looked at my body
As a flaw-limbs with impressions
You saw stretch marks where I saw waves
You saw scars where I saw resilience
You saw hips and curves where I saw confidence

If you really saw me for me
You would see my past, my story
But maybe you weren’t ready to see me
Too focused on yourself
Not even giving me a second look
As you did the time- you deserve the pleasurable reward
A reward that you deemed as cheap and broken

Oh, how I wish you took a real look at me!
Because I’m worth so much more than 40 dollars-
I’m worth so much more than 6 months

I’m worth a lifetime.



Diana Yafizova (she/her/hers) is a Michigan State University student double majoring in creative writing and professional and public writing. She has published articles in both Hypefresh inc. and ENSPIRE magazine. She also published her poetry with Turtle Way Literary Art magazine. Her creative work focuses on the idea that everyone's feeling is real, and she tries to make her work a place where people can see themselves. Her poetry focuses on themes of mental health, existentialism, dating, and feminism. Twitter: @DianaR_Y Instagram: @dianary26