don't look by Lex Marie (Texas, 26)

Trigger warning: words relating to violence and death. Alludes to homelessness, Palestine genocide, mental illness, and the state of this country. 


the sinking feeling my my chest
informs me
that we are doomed
bright lights
smart phones
happy pills
just turn it off
i can’t

go outside
pay your bills
that pregnant girl doesn’t look older than 15
don’t look
the streets are crowded
cars rush in urgency
it is Sunday
i know you looked at me
you
didn’t
stop
do you see anything?
​​

look down
keep quiet
it is raining
children are dying
did you make it to that hair appointment?
there’s kids in the streets
that high school over there looks like a prison

turn it off
look at the time
did I take my pills today?
spend a hundred dollars
little girls are at Sephora
do not be late to work tomorrow
don’t look
don’t go outside
children are dying
thank you for your payment
i have to clean
i want to scream
happy pills
pay your bills
another amber alert
is it okay
to breathe?

turn it off
tax season
pregnancy announcement
gun shots
fireworks
sirens
i wonder if the moon and the stars gets scared
the cars are so loud
my pantry is empty
children are dying
just breathe

i pray for the children
i see another video of a teenager
kicked out, no place to go
was the sky always this gray?
i have bills to pay
i hope the kids are safe next week
the little girl on my screen
is scared of getting old
how can i breathe?

look down
be quiet
don’t scream
drink some water
wash your face
turn it off
i should call my mom
will she listen?
does she hear anything?

sirens
bombs, bombs, bombs
don’t forget to file your taxes
the playgrounds are empty
don’t be late to work
did you bring a phone charger?
children are dead
don’t forget to
eat
breathe
live

i have to take my pills
screens
plastic
junk mail
1,984
(unread)
i google:
help/insomnia/fast
turn it off
i didn’t take out the trash

don’t look
just take a bath
pause
i don’t know where i am
maybe we should be next
there’s a long line at starbucks

don’t look
little girls at sephora
pay your bills
don’t use your brain
the dead eyes on the screen
need to be paid
children
dead

we are sick
spend a hundred dollars
i am thirsty
i go outside
it is so quiet

how was your weekend. . .
there’s this new diet. . .
congratulations on the new house. . .
ma’am, my coffee is too cold. . .

my head is spinning
don’t look
stay quiet
eat something
go outside
bright lights
advertisements
take your pills
we are dying
do you hear the sirens?




Lex Marie is a Puerto Rican poet who has been living in north Texas for 13 years. She started learning how to write poetry in elementary school and has continued to write poetry as a hobby. She has a bachelor's in English from Midwestern State University and is now in the process of completing her master's degree in library science at the University of North Texas. She has performed at several poetry readings and hopes to continue sharing her work with others. ​